Friday, April 10, 2009

Dumb blonde moment maybe???

Last night ran to wal mart real quick!
Grabbed some last minute things - Easter stuff for the nephew and godchild, and some random things, and ran to the register!
The typical Wal Mart cashier looks at me and says - "do we still have Easter Candy left in the store?"
I said yes and just looked at her, and then she told me she was sick of ringing easter candy up.
and I thought about it for a second, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT YOUR PUSHING PASSED THE SCANNER, YOUR LUCKY YOU HAVE A what screamed in my head...seriously are you just suppossed to ring the crap up or are you suppiossed to take inventory, Its Easter time of course people are going to buy Easter stuff, if your tired of it - quit and go home!
But i said all this to myself, and just looked at her and smiled.
Then she picked up the Easter Bunny that you wind up and it hops and then a jelly bean falls out from under its tail, of course I am being nice hear.
Then she says "this is ridiculous, hummph"
And I am thinking c'mon I don't have all night to itemize and crtique my order, your dumb store is selling it... but I said "well the kids are nine, so they think that stuff is funny, they are not into chocolate hollow bunnies"
She looks at me, I smiled, and I said "what" because she was staring at me with her wrinkly thick black wet n' wild eyeliner, her box died ridiculous red hair, and her smokers voice with a cough behind every word, and she grunts at me.
I said "what, seriously they don't like the babyish Easter crap - what else am I suppossed to get them?"
She picks up the teck deck that I bought Molly - and says"this skateboard is a great idea,"then she picks up the bunny again, " this bunny that shits jelly beans, not such a great idea".
Now ya know I never stick up for myself and I never say anything smart to anyone, I am not the comeback kind, and I never can think of anything good to say and then out of my mouth came this "Well, we all shit don't we - so who cares, put it in the bag".
Now I am not sure what I really meant by that,(and in my head I saw my hand cover over my mouth like I was in shock about what just came out of it!!) but I was sick of being interrogated by the Wal Mart cashier....
(All I could think was I was so glad I wasn't buying anything embarrassing, like hemmorhoid cream or something wierd like that, she would probably be discussing it with me - how freaking rude, I can only imagine the conversations she has with people daily, seriously!!!)

Happy Easter Lady - if I knew where you lived I would get you an Easter Bunny that shits jelly beans and leave it on your doorstep, something tells me you would know exactly who left it for you!


Jeff said...

Ok, I literally lol'd!!! I f***ing love you! But my problem is, why can't this shiz happen when I'm around!? I would've said, "Well you know, you could move up in the world and work at McDonald's, you piece of shit!" But I do love your response!!! Classic! If I was there and heard you say that I would've laughed in that bitch's face and said, "Suck it!" I would've been your hype man. Jumping up and down behind you and going, "oooooooohh snap!! And what?! And what!?"

HB said...

Dana, I can't believe that b**ch said all that to you!! Walmart is crazy! Good for you for saying something back!!!

nix3000, foo! said...

I bought a pooping reindeer for my mom and aunt for Christmas. They're funny. Almost as funny as being a critical cashier at Wal-mart. Maybe she should take a critical look at herself. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a cashier, but have some pride and dignity and refrain from saying inappropriate things to customers about their items. Seriously.


I have to tell you that as a cashier at Target, I TOO AM SICK OF RINGING UP EASTER CANDY - LOL!! However, I would never tell someone that something that they were buying was a bad idea!

Memories of us said...

HA.. Dana I actually think I know who the woman is... not sure if you were at the walmart on the parkway but if so.. my mom works there and I think I know the woman you are talking about.. how funny!

Crazy Mama said...

That is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Tommy (not the baby oddly enough, he's too little for jelly beans anyway)would absolutely LOVE a buuny that poops jelly beans! LMAO